Social and Emotional Learning and A Little Bit of Empathy

This year, I was fortunate enough to participate in a cohort of teachers from my community that focused on Trauma Training and Social and Emotional Learning. Taught by the NEA, this six-week course provided information on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), building resilience, and restorative practices among other topics. While I have always considered myself to be empathetic and relational with students, this experience has opened my eyes and challenged me to rethink my interactions with students - especially students who seem to be exhibiting stress, struggling with social and emotional issues, and/or are not completing tasks as assigned. In a world with infinite pressures, the obstacles and backstories that students face before entering the hallways of the high school in which I teach are often unknown, and their effects remain unseen.

All trauma is relative to the person experiencing said trauma. Every student and every person will struggle at times, which may lead him or her to carry out choices that may not add up. For example, a student may have a parent who is sick at home and feels overwhelmed with anxiety for said parent or has to take on more responsibilities to keep life functioning at home. Unfortunately, there are too many struggles in this world. Young people are learning to navigate the situations presented to them, while trying to attend classes, complete homework, participate in the school community, work toward pursue post-secondary educations, and determine the roles in society that they will obtain when they officially leave high school. With numerous demands pulling them in countless directions, of course, their level of stress and anxiety are high. Their pressures can seem insurmountable, which can cause students to shut down and leave them uncertain with how to cope. 

Redirecting my focus with students this year, I now stop and question what has caused them to act in the ways they are acting and assess their coping skills. Acknowledging and validating their feelings - no matter what they are experiencing - is a priority for me. When students feel validated, they are far more open to having conversations about their situations (and about the work that needs to be completed in class). After students feel supported, we can begin to discuss grit and build resilience, time-management, and other executive functioning skills. We all need to develop and continue to develop these skills in our lives. Promoting social and emotional skills is essential. When students understand how to face their obstacles, they will learn to problem-solve, critically think, and apply critical literacy skills to their lives. In addition, they will learn how to navigate the adult world and how to work toward making their dreams and goals realities. What I want most for my students mirrors what I want for my own children. I want my students to recognize their strengths, discover their passions, and pursue goals. As they work toward individual goals, I hope they learn to work hard and exhibit kindness to everyone they met. While I know this is idealistic, I do believe that emphasizing life skills, demonstrating empathy, and focusing on being the best teacher I can for my students can make a small but tangible difference. I do my part in hopes that maybe they will believe in themselves, known that someone cares, and want to work fervently for the destinations that will bring them joy. Happiness and contentment are attainable, and amazing occurrences can happen.

Team Jordan Update

I have been humbled by the love and support shown for sharing our experience with cystic fibrosis and Jordan's condition. I have been grappling with the meaning behind his diagnosis and what this means for our lives. Every doctor's appointment has been incredibly positive. The research that I continue to read (in small doses because my heart can only process so much in a given sitting) continues to provide me with reasons to hope. The CF Foundation is committed to finding a cure for CF. As a mom of a child with CF, I will be more than content with therapies and medicine that will allow Jordan to live a full life. We can work through this disorder together. While I am not a doctor, what I can glean from the research is that if the CF Foundation finds a cure for CF by cracking the genetic code, this research could mean hope for countless other people who suffer from genetic disorders. Could life become better for thousands of families? I hope for that.

I am a person of faith, and I do not believe that God wants his people to suffer. My heart is heavy for all people who face illness, poverty, depression, abuse, war, and every other hardship this world holds. There are innumerable obstacles placed before us in a given lifetime. What I do believe, however, is that we can choose to accept these challenges to create a more beautiful world in which to live. 

Today's sermon profoundly pointed out the beauty in our wounds - in the heartbreaks and aches that we have faced. Our scars, both physical and emotional, have shaped us into the people we are. They can be used to teach us and bring us closer together. My pastor used the analogy of Kintsugi, a Japanese art form in which artists take shattered pottery, reconstructs the pottery and fills the cracks and crevasses with gold dust - taking what was once broken and making it more marvelous than before. Whether it be my students and their struggles or my own struggles, perhaps this is what life is truly about. From our brokenness, we can work to fill in the cracks together. We can choose to give our lives meaning and beauty by filling it with empathy and love.

No matter what life has in store for us, I continue to believe there are blessings in the imperfections.