Recalibrating in 2024: Reflecting, Refreshing, and Revising

As we wrap up 2024, I reflect on a tough year - really, a tough couple of years. The pandemic exacerbated problems in our world and made protecting medically fragile people challenging. My family went through both known and not public challenges, which forced me to realize that not everyone has good intentions. More often than I'd like to believe - people can be mean. Still, there are so many people and experiences for which to be grateful. I am hardwired always to see the best in every person and to make meaning from our everyday experiences. Despite a few bumps in the road, I am hopeful and still seeking the good.

New years and new semesters are tangible fresh starts that encourage us to reflect and recalibrate our mindsets and goals. A mindful and intentional recalibration of our mindsets can help us to move forward and grow as people, teachers, and learners. What does recalibration look like in the classroom?

(Thanks to Rob Martinez for writing a beautiful book called Recipes for Resilience and for sharing his passion and joy with other educators)

First - it starts with considering where we've been.

As I think about where I've been, I have focused on asking myself purposeful questions:

• What worked well this year?
• What didn't work?
• What caught me by surprise?

Growth often happens in unexpected moments. I recently listened to the Hidden Brain podcast by Shankar Vedantam, in which we discussed "How to Be More Creative." One of the caveats of this podcast was that inspiration is often found in unexpected moments but is still the result of a purposeful thought process. We are frequently most innovative when we allow ourselves to cultivate our creative potential - when we have space to think, reflect, and consider. Another takeaway from this podcast was that our ideas and inventions do not occur in a vacuum. We need people to move forward. 

A takeaway from what didn't work is that I must surround myself with the right people. I have learned that stepping away from people who use my talents or expect me to give all of myself to them but do not reciprocate or show up when I need them is okay. Still, loving others and using my gifts can create great spaces for students. We are capable of so much, and we must find ways to refocus and redirect our energy to make a positive impact.

Something that went well this year was taking risks and chances. One of the most powerful experiences of my educational journey was being a part of the Google Innovator program. Shout out to #CHI24. After spending several months not feeling like myself, I applied to this program literally HOURS before the deadline. I have always wanted to participate in this professional learning program, and I was so blessed to be chosen as one of the 50 participants. Being in a room of inspiring and passionate educators was electric and reminded me that there are incredible people in the world who want to share, learn with, and lift others up. I am so grateful for this group of people and will definitely have to write another blog post on how this experience recalibrated my thinking and gave me back my joy.

 

(Shout out to the Sparkle Squad)

Through reflection comes renewal and refreshing our energy.

As an educator, I have always believed in servant-hearted leadership. As a collective, educators are here to support, guide, mentor, and teach others skills that will allow them to have a happy and healthy life. In my realization of this aspect of education, I have learned, though, that we cannot pour from an empty cup. We have to:

• Pause and rest.
• Reconnect and understand our why.
• Prioritize our families and ourselves.

When we rest, we are more productive and happier, which allows us to recenter ourselves and remind us of our purpose - or our why. Pouring into my family and creating spaces for my children to thrive, learn, and grow has helped me grow as a person and an educator. By prioritizing my family and trying to prioritize myself, I am starting to understand my goals and gifts more than ever. Rest is important; I see that now. Rest allows us to ignite our creativity and foster new ideas.

With rest and rejuvenation comes a reset to move forward.

Between Christmas and New Year's is a great time to set realistic goals. Now, I am not fond of "New Year's Resolutions" or lofty goals that quickly fade before January is over. Starting smaller and shifting our thinking are great ways to improve. This year, I learned that goals are not about the finish line; goals are guides to help us along the way. Being flexible is essential. Life happens, and sometimes it hurts. Learning to adjust and adapt has helped me immensely this year.

As teachers, adapting to our changing students can help us to improve and shift our practices. Collaboration and community are ways to reset and grow collectively. Some new teaching practices I hope to implement in 2025 involve more lit circles, ethical use of AI, and more communication experiences for students (podcasting, peer reviewing, presentation, etc.). Resetting our strategies can help us serve and stretch our students better. 

Revision means looking ahead like any good author during the writing process.

Practice makes progress - not perfection. For me, I will continue to learn and grow. My husband and I started creating again. We have a new season for our podcast, and we are co-directing a children’s show. We are fueling our creativity and exploring how to make safe and meaningful spaces for people to learn and grow. I will continue to take risks and put myself in spaces that challenge me to give my talents, stretch my thinking, and provide me with opportunities to lift up others. 

As we enter 2024, we must refresh our mindset and recalibrate our thinking continuously. Recalibration is a cycle of following our values and goals. What will 2025 look like? I'm gearing up to present at conferences, including IDEA Con and ISTE, in June. I will put myself out there again and take every experience in this new chapter as an amazing opportunity for growth, purpose, and impact. Here's to making it matter.

The Three Sister Seeds of Education

The three-sister seeds are a farming practice used to create a sustainable ecosystem in agriculture. Three seeds - corn, beans, and squash - work collaboratively to support and further each other's growth. The corn provides a structure for the beans to climb. The beans cohabitate with the corn and provide support as the stalks reach higher toward the sky. The squash grows low to the ground and spreads out, keeping moisture close to the earth and preventing the infestation of harmful weeds that might impact the growth of the other plants. Keeping the ground fertile helps all three plants thrive. I love this idea - the collaborative nature of these plants only strengthens their ability to take root and succeed.

Students and educators need support to progress in their educational journeys. Like the practice of the three sister seeds, our educational ecosystem should be balanced to thrive. When we seek to create a sustainable school system, we must remember that students need to have an environment that will allow them to flourish. Students can succeed with the right resources acquire knowledge, instructional practices that support their learning style, and social-emotional support to create the most effective environment possible.

First, we must have a foundation of learning and knowledge that can help elevate student learning to new heights. Like the corn that grows tall in the summer, a foundation of reliable educational resources and tools helps students navigate the world around them. How do we ensure that schools are filled with reliable resources? The school environment needs to be functional and have resources for the diverse learners that enter the school. Schools provide so much for students, from learning spaces to extracurricular opportunities, starting with that physical space. In addition to the physical space, the culture and climate should be nurtured by leaders. One of the most essential resources schools have is the teachers and staff themselves. When leaders lose sight of the needs of those who work most directly with students, the environment can quickly become uninhabitable.

When teachers are supported, they can use their content area knowledge and expertise to provide a supportive backbone for students to learn. Corn has many parts that together provide a strong, sturdy, and safe environment for corn to grow. From protective husks, long stalks, and tassels on the top, the parts of the corn plant represent a series of essential facets of a school community that work together to help students learn and develop. All of our resources - the physical space, materials, and personnel - are necessary parts of learning within the school environment.

In many gardens, bean plants often cohabitate with corn stalks. As a natural vertical farming support structure, corn provides a safe space for the bean plant to grow. Beans increase soil health, which makes them an important part of sustainable farming practices. Instructional practices, like the bean plant, work hand-in-hand with school resources to create student learning experiences. Our instructional practices must be adaptive and meet the diverse learning needs of our students. Preparing students to be career-ready and able to navigate a tech-rich world are key. Helping students to acquire literacy skills, think critically, and discern the accuracy of information must be at the forefront of the instruction we provide students in any discipline.

Personalized learning experiences that emphasize voice and choice can help students to acquire the information that will help them succeed. Collaborative learning experiences, project-based learning, and career exploration experiences must all be integrated into a school's ecosystem. Addressing all of these aspects of learning can be a challenge, but when a school is well-designed and led, it is possible to support teachers in creating and students in learning from these experiences.

Still, even the best-designed schools cannot succeed without a well-protected foundation. Squash in the sister seed approach to farming covers the ground, keeping it cool and fertile. This plant also prevents weeds from taking over the space. Social-emotional learning - like squash - can provide a caring and rich environment for the resources and instructional practices to thrive. As we continue to navigate the impact of the pandemic and significant global issues that trickle down in waves that impact mental health, we need to ensure that students feel safe and supported and that they belong in the school environment. This safe and nurturing foundation is necessary for the other aspects of learning to blossom.

As we consider what we want our schools to look like this fall, we must remember how interconnected every part of a school is. Diverse learning environments like gardens rich with various plants support every student, educator, and community member involved in the learning process. We all bring a different strength to our students and the school community. May we find ways to collaborate, celebrate, and support one another so that our students can thrive.

Lessons Before Dying: Final Moments with My Grandma

A little over a week ago, my 96-year-old grandma passed away quietly after contracting pneumonia and suffering a stroke. While death and loss are difficult for the living and the dying alike, her death was peaceful. We should all be so lucky to live the full and mostly independent life my grandmother led until 94. At the beginning of 2023, my grandma fell, which led to a significant and slow decline in her physical mobility.  This past year has been difficult because physical challenges meant less connection with family and no independence. Dementia took hold, but still, when I was able to visit, she lit up and knew who I was even when a mask covered my face. The greatest blessing in this slow and steady fade was that she seemed happy and calm. She wasn't afraid and seemed to charm her way into the nurses' and workers' hearts - especially those who lovingly spoke Spanish to her and called her Mamita. Ella esta en buenas manos. 

My grandma and I were extremely close. Growing up about a mile from her house, she was my babysitter and caretaker as a child, and I carry deep gratitude for her presence (and all the pickups from school she provided) in my youth. We talked almost every day in my adult life when she (sort of) learned how to use a cell phone, especially after her sister died in 2018, and we saw each other once a week for a library and Happy Meal date. 

Sometimes, the school of life teaches us lessons we do not realize we need to learn. These past few years, throughout the pandemic, life has shown me that I had to face adversity in ways I had been too sheltered to recognize before. The selfishness of people, loss, and heartache entered my sphere in ways I had never faced before. Working through my grief and repressed trauma this spring and into the summer has made me realize the power of gratitude and the importance of doing the right thing even when no one is watching. 

After her stroke, my Grandma couldn't speak. As a result, I found myself filling the silence with stories of times we shared. She’d gesture with recognition when I talked about the times we trudged through Woodfield Mall and ate quesadillas at the Nordstrom Cafe. I hoped she felt love and knew I was there. From subtle squeezing of the hands and her fight to stay awake for as long as possible while I sat with her, I believe she knew me and was trying to impart her final bits of wisdom to me, even without a voice. When she fell asleep, I sat looking at her, trying to fill in the gaps of what she would have said. Here are the lessons I will take from her.

Lesson #1: Show up. 

When we are in times of grief or struggle, the people who show up unprompted and without judgment make the difference. This year, I have had people I thought were friends who did not show up for me, but I have also had an abundance friends and loved ones show up unexpectedly and compassionately. Every gesture makes a difference, from walks in the woods to lunch dates, text messages to goofy notes left on a desk. Those connections have meant the world to me, and I could not be more grateful.

Every person, at our core, wants to feel seen and valued. Showing up for someone provides comfort and validation. Grand gestures or public acts of service are not needed to express empathy and lend a listening ear. While I could not do anything to change my grandma's circumstances, I kept telling her that I was there for her and that she was safe with me holding her hand. 

Lesson #2: Be still.

We live in a culture that celebrates busyness and moving at the fastest pace possible. In her final days, grandma was unable to speak. Sitting quietly with her made me realize that pausing every once in a while is okay. Plans got canceled, and my life was put on hold. The stillness I experienced allowed me to consider what matters most to me and to my family. In that stillness, I set goals for the coming school year, considering what I want my next chapter to be. Even though my daily routines have returned since her passing, I will continue to listen carefully and trust my intuition.

Lesson #3: Recognize that little moments matter. 

During her final days, I tried to recall every silly memory I could that we shared. From babysitting my second cousins to getting lost when she tried to take "shortcuts" driving to places - I had to laugh at the seemingly mundane daily experiences we found ourselves in. Those are the moments I remember with her. Nothing was fancy or flashy about those moments, but they made me laugh, and from the squeeze of her hand, I believe they mattered to her, too. 

When we live with intention and love, we create environments and experiences that matter. Whether telling a student they are capable of incredible feats or pausing to listen to a person who needs a friend's face - our words and ability to show love make this world a better place. These connections often don't happen during championship games or great victories; they occur in the everyday experiences that we sometimes take for granted.

 

Lesson #4: Treasure those who hold space for you. 

My grandma and I didn't share similar hobbies. She was a talented seamstress and loved shopping. I find shopping anxiety-inducing and triggering. Still, she loved sharing these experiences with me. She made beautiful dresses for me as a child and dragged me to the mall more often than I ever would have liked to go. While we didn't always love the same things, we could find ways to enjoy each other's company, and she'd listen. Without fail, she attended my plays and listened to me practice the piano for hours as a child. She gave me space and encouraged me to be myself. I know she made sacrifices for me and prioritized the activities that I loved. Despite our differences, I was safe to be myself with her. 

My relationship with my grandma has shown me that it is essential to hold space for people who hold space for us. We do not have to have the same beliefs or interests, but we can show up for, sit with, and create beautiful memories with many people who cross our paths. 

As a teacher, I am called to work with so many different types of students. I love the "tough ones" who need a little extra love. Reflecting on my relationship with my grandma has taught me how important it is to embrace people, make the most of every moment, and treasure people who cross our paths. May we all find ways to show love in whatever capacity we can and make the most of the life and opportunities gifted to us. 

Take Off the Mask: You are Enough

Halloween is not one of my favorite holidays, but as soon as the calendar turns to November, it indicates that Christmas is almost here. Since my oldest daughter Harper was born, we take out our Christmas decorations right after Halloween because I was home on maternity leave and had the time to decorate. Since then, it has become a tradition to enjoy the holiday season by embracing all things Christmas as soon as the leaves fall. 

Halloween has also marked some significant life events. On Halloween in 2008, I called in sick for the first time in my career. I had the stomach flu and had a long list of wedding tasks to take care of - including getting our marriage license. Josh stayed home, too, and we ended up getting legally married and crossing off one of the major and, perhaps, the most legally significant tasks left on our wedding agenda. Halloween is also the day that we received a frantic phone call from our children's pediatrician that Jordan most likely had cystic fibrosis. In 2017, our lives forever changed as we received a phone call that every person fears receiving. After hanging up the phone and frantically Googling CF, I remember moving through the motions and attempting to "do Halloween" with three small children dressed in Monsters Inc. costumes huddled around me on the couch. We went to houses, said Trick or Treat, took the pictures and went through the motions. 

Every year, as Halloween approaches, I reflect on the masks we often wear - masking our feelings, masking from COVID, masking to cover up or hide from what scares us. For so long, I coped with Jordan's diagnosis, the pandemic, and really any fears of being a parent by filling my days and schedule to capacity. I scheduled every second, so I didn't have time to process the pain and fear that I was living with. The bustle of a full day masked and suppressed my fears. However, the busyness of being a teacher, coach, friend, and more made me feel like a less-than-adequate mom. If I was busy being everything to everyone else, could I be an adequate mom? Society often expects women to juggle many roles, and it also expects them to excel in all of them.

I gave up a few parts of my life I loved this year because I thought it would make a statement that my family came first. By limiting myself and conforming to a role that others expected me to play, I would make myself more of a mom. For several months, I felt pressure from almost every person in my life to pull back and refocus on my family. What I learned in this process is that by denying who I am and attempting to remove parts of myself, I would become what I feared most. I would become less-than-adequate. By listening to this invisible pressure to fulfill society's expectations or to show that I would put my family first, I lost myself. Still, in doing so, I unknowingly removed a mask I didn't even realize I was wearing. Masking my fear with positivity and joy, I was able to play a part that allowed me not to process the deep-seated pain I had endured. Through this painful process, I have rediscovered myself. 

Halloween is a time to try on and play out different roles in life. We ask children to imagine what might be, and we can embrace those possibilities as well. If we think of a superhero like Superman, who is continually asked to save the world, we imagine a character with infinite strength flying through the sky. We don't often associate with or think about his other role - Clark Kent. He is both a superhero and an ordinary person working as a journalist. He plays many roles, both of which have value and impact the world. Superman can play both roles well, and in fact, in many iterations, he longs for the role that many deem less valuable or less impactful. I understand Clark's desire to serve quietly - not wanting to take credit or stand before flashing lights. I also understand that his power is not limited to just one role or one path. This character often works against societal expectations to hide his superhero identity. 

Through my own evolution this fall - losing and rediscovering myself, I have learned that I do not have to give up parts of myself to still be my version of supermom. My kids are the greatest gift in the world to Josh and me. Whether we are driving to dance class, crawling into Harper’s bottom bunk after an incredibly full day, or falling asleep at the fall play (Jordan did reluctantly fall asleep at the fall play this year - even though his version of superhero high school pals were onstage), we are a team ready to tackle our ever-growing to-do lists. What others might not understand or see as valuable can still hold value for me - for us. In fact, I learned that it is okay to move at superspeed if that is what fuels my work and passions. There are no limits to what we are capable of - regardless of what societal expectations may imply. 

This fall, my church asked me to speak on the future of our faith, which, again, has caused me to consider what might be. Our love, like God's love, is not finite. Our love and our capacity for joy are abundant, but only when we are true to ourselves - when we recognize our gifts and use them with intent. We are not put on this earth to fulfill someone else's definition of who we were meant to be. Instead, we must follow our individual callings. We do not have to mask or hide who we are to fit someone else's plan. 

My children, who are three of the most joyful people I have been blessed to know, have shown me and continue to show me that it is vital to be unapologetically ourselves. Despite their circumstances, my children remind me to find the good and that it is okay to put one thousand things on our to-do lists.

Jordan has spent the last six years of his life in and out of doctors' appointments, hooked up to a chest compression device, and taking countless pills to grow and thrive. His joy and love are gifts innately within him but also a reflection of all the people he has been fortunate to meet so far. He doesn't ever say no or turn away from an experience that brings him joy. He dances to his own beat and does not conform. He's defied many odds and continues to tackle any obstacle set before him unwaveringly. May we all continue to remember to find that inner joy, radiate love, and remember that we are capable of so much more than what the world might tell us.

Take off the mask this Halloween. You are enough. 

A Brighter Tomorrow: Refinding My Voice in the Celebration of CUMC's 135th Anniversary

This semester has been a struggle. My hope is to explore and share the journey as I begin to process and move forward. I have lost my sense of self in so many ways, but I am working to get back to myself so that I can be the best version of myself for my family and for my students. This weekend, I was asked to give a speech on the future of our church at the 135th celebration. Talking about the future reminded me so much of what my purpose is - to love and empower youth. Not to cue up any Whitney Houston songs or embrace any cliches, but I truly believe that building into our youth will lead us to a brighter and more beautiful tomorrow. October is always a very reflective month for me. More is coming, but for now, here are my thoughts on the future. 

Here's my speech: 

Ladies and gentlemen, dear members of our church family, today, I'm here to share my thoughts on the future of our faith and the Cary United Methodist Church. I love that I'm here to talk about the future of our church. As a mom to three of our youngest members, I am so grateful to have this place on the hill and an amazing church family to help nurture and guide Harper, Willa, and Jordan. I am also so grateful and overjoyed to see them become active members of this church who run down the aisles for children's time, read at church, and high-five Pastor Norval at every opportunity. It is in my children - and all of our children - that we can find inspiration in the hope and potential that lies ahead. 

Josh was raised in a Methodist church. One of his favorite aspects of being a part of his church (Our Saviors United Methodist Church in Schaumburg) was that the church held true to the values of open hearts, open doors, and open minds. When we got married, we wanted to raise our children in a church that reiterated those values that we hold dear. That desire brought us here to Cary United Methodist Church 10 years ago. Those values of the past still ring true in our church today, and those values will be passed down to the next generation.

These principles have shaped our identity - reminding us to practice compassion and inclusivity. These principles will continue to light the path of building a beautiful future for our church and for our world because they are the embodiment of our commitment to the teachings of Christ and our promise to be a place of love, acceptance, and peace.

Our church has been a sanctuary of empathy, kindness, and understanding. It's within these walls that we, as a church family, come together to support one another on our journeys through life. As we navigate the ever-evolving future, it's crucial that we keep our hearts open to each other. Embracing the diversity of our congregation and acknowledging that every individual is a cherished member of our church family. The future offers us opportunities to deepen our connections and nurture an environment where love and compassion flourish.

Our church has been a haven for those seeking God's love and community. It's a place where people from all walks of life find a sense of belonging. We must continue to keep our doors wide open, both physically and spiritually. As our world evolves and the needs of our community change, we must adapt and extend our warm embrace to anyone in search of spiritual guidance.

As a mother, I see a world brimming with change and progress, driven by the energy and innovation of the younger generation. It's a world where technology reshapes the way we connect, where values evolve, and where faith can light the way. 

Our children represent hope as we step into the future. They are the ones who will lead our church with fresh perspectives, boundless energy, and a deep commitment to making this world a better place. We must prepare them, guide them, and love them today - just as God has loved us. That love we pass down today is planting beautiful seeds that will continue to flourish after we are gone. 

We must mentor and empower our youth, nurturing their leadership skills and fostering an understanding of our church's values. They are the ones who will adapt our methods, ensuring that Cary United Methodist Church remains a beautiful center for spiritual growth.

The future of Cary United Methodist Church transcends a physical building. It's about upholding the teachings of Christ and our mission to be a source of love and light in a world full of division and uncertainty. Our faith knows no age or time; it's a dynamic force that will guide us into a future filled with hope, unity, and purpose. 

As we embark on this exciting journey into the future, may we keep the flame of our faith burning brightly, lighting the way for all who seek spiritual nourishment and community. I pray for God's blessings as we step forward into this promising and transformative chapter in the history of Cary United Methodist Church with our youth at the forefront, leading us toward a brighter and more beautiful future.