Rethinking Success: Shifting the Focus from Achievements to Personal Growth and Development (Part 2)

"Why would you want to be an English teacher?" This was an actual question I was asked when I was in high school. Be anything else BUT an English teacher was the message I received. The concern was that English is a popular subject, and I would need help finding a job. Note: Never let someone convince you not to pursue your dreams and passions.

Why English? I come from a family of math and science teachers, and I am the only humanities teacher. My love for literacy derives from my desire to connect and empathize with others. In the early oughts (2000s), the STEM push consumed the conversation around education. While I love and value STEM, my passion has always been empowering all learners to share their stories, create innovative ideas or projects, and collaborate with others. These soft skills, often considered secondary to other disciplines, are the foundation of academic, professional, and personal success. Regardless of the discipline we teach or pursue, how can we help our students find success?

Students must be encouraged to set goals for personal growth.

Both organizations and individuals write SMART goals in the business world (and in education). However, a Harvard Business Study found that of the top MBA students from their program, only 3% had written down their goals. Of course, the study going that the percentage of individuals who had written down their goals earned 10x more money than the 97% combined.

While money does not buy happiness, having a clear direction and purpose can lead to a more fulfilling life. Teaching our students to write goals down physically is crucial. Where we might miss the boat as educators, however, is that we need to teach students to write smaller, more tangible goals. We want our students to dream big and reach for grandiose ideas. When a goal is set too far in the future, it becomes too much of a reach, and the drive to achieve that goal can fizzle.

I love the image above. Shorter goals and small steps toward a grander goal yield better results. We must show our students how to manage, set, and reset their goals so that they feel the energy to accomplish a task. That seemingly micro feeling of success will yield even more success moving forward.

In Atomic Habits, James Clear reminds us that "Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement." If we teach students to become just a little better each day, before they know it, they will feel transformed in their skill sets and will want to continue to grow.

We must foster a culture that maintains a positive mindset.

To succeed, we must also fail. Feeling like a failure can produce frustration and tension. Students look to us to see how we react to our failures. If we become overwhelmed when technology doesn’t work, for example, we demonstrate that it is acceptable to become angry if something doesn't go our way. Of course, we all have moments of anger and frustration, but as educators, we must be aware that our students are always watching (just like our children). They will react to setbacks in the same way that we do. The "do as I say, not as I do" mentality is a generation or two ago. If we want our students to have a positive mindset, we must start by evaluating our own.

How can we foster a positive mindset in our classroom?

1. Celebrate positive behaviors. Identifying what our students are doing and how those actions are positive can help students to recognize what behaviors will lead to successful outcomes.
2. Embrace struggles and problem-solve together. Discussing how to problem-solve provides students with a framework to refocus and reset after a failure. It is important to learn, reflect, and grow.
3. Identify the lessons learned. Talk through what was gained in a situation and use experiences to move forward.
4. Show gratitude for the people and experiences that have helped us become who we are today and who will continue to support us moving forward.
5. Focus on the word yet. When unpacking a situation, the word yet allows us all to understand that if something doesn't go our way, it means we are still learning and growing. Even though our desired outcome hasn't happened yet, it is still possible, and we can still see the positives in any situation.

I love Ralph Waldo Emerson's quote, "Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year." I often remind my students and myself that even though not every day is exciting or life-changing, every day provides us with an opportunity to learn, grow, and build relationships with others. When we learn to appreciate and embrace those initial steps joyfully, we become stronger and find meaning in everyday experiences.

Preparation is key.

We must prepare our students for the challenges they will inevitably encounter by helping them take a realistic look at the circumstances while finding the nuggets of hope in the face of adversity. We must prepare our students to hear no, receive a rejection, and handle criticism gracefully. They will face rejection in many ways; we all do. What they choose to do in those moments will determine their success. Failure is a gift, but one needs to learn how to handle the package to reap the rewards of the lessons that this gift can teach.

Part of success is recognizing and understanding how to move forward from loss and rejection. Success is about navigating the obstacles and rethinking, recreating, or redirecting our path. I want to continue to empower my students to find meaning in their lives and experiences, accomplish their goals, and, most importantly, experience the joy of living a life that brings them meaning and purpose.

Someone told me boldly that I'd never find joy as an English teacher. While they may have been well-intentioned, I did not allow them to stop me from pursuing my dream. I understood that I might hear no. I recognized that I might not succeed on the first try, and that belief strengthened me.

NOTE: I was hired very early in the job hunt (before spring break), within 24 hours of my interview. My first principal told me not to interview at a neighboring school in the same district, which I was set to do the next day. Post spring break, I received calls for interviews from over a dozen different school districts. I was definitely going to find a job.

Again, don't ever let anyone discourage you from reaching your goals. While the vision of success in my life has shifted over the years, and that definition might shift for others, we can help our students see the steps they need to take to reach their goals. We can empower our students by helping them to shape their understanding of success and take those first steps.

References:

Acton, Annabel. “How to Set Goals (and Why You Should Write Them Down).” Forbes, 3 Nov. 2017, www.forbes.com/sites/annabelacton/2017/11/03/how-to-set-goals-and-why-you-should-do-it/?sh=104307bd162d.

Clear, James. Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. Cornerstone Press, 2022.

Rethinking Success: Shifting the Focus from Achievements to Personal Growth and Development (Part 1)

My center child profoundly influences the emotional climate of my home. She unapologetically feels her emotions, which is both beautiful and terrifying. She is a powerful force, and I love her fervor for life.

At her first dance recital at age four, she stood on stage cupping her ears, mustering the courage to move only at her favorite part of the routine, which involved jumping. Pas de Bourr - uh-oh. (Mom note - She stood her ground the whole time and didn't run off stage. She even performed the whole dance for us in the living room as soon as we returned home. I loved her won't quit attitude, which has allowed her to continue growing and face her fears.).

At seven years old, she still leaps through life and has shown incredible growth in her confidence and joy of dancing with her friends on stage. Her dance career was not marred by her first performance or even her fifth performance. She continues to gain confidence and is always practicing her skills throughout our house. Watching her discover herself has challenged me to pause and consider how we define success in our schools and how students develop in their journey to achieve benchmarks and goals.

As I watch my children develop as dancers, readers, learners, and people, my understanding of success has been transformed. It is human nature to categorize or label people or experiences, but when we label our students, we inadvertently limit their potential to achieve.

Admittedly, our schools are publicly assessed and ranked based on quantifiable data such as test scores, college readiness criteria, climate and culture surveys, and other measurable factors. While these data points are essential for informing our schools' decision-making practices, they do not provide a roadmap for success. They don't consider personalized learning pathways that help us support every student's understanding of success. As educators, we can utilize this information to guide our next steps, which help students discover their paths to success and foster their growth.

So how might we define success? More importantly, how do we create a space in which students can define success for themselves?

First, we must create a space for students to learn from mistakes.

In Jessica Lahey’s The Gift of Failure, she emphasizes that as parents (and educators), our instinct is to clear away obstacles and provide the most direct path to success. In this process, we rob children of the greatest lesson they could have - failure. Mistakes are inevitable within the learning process and create lasting memories that can shape children’s ability to problem-solve, collaborate, create, and grow.

In a learning environment that is supportive and encouraging, students have many opportunities to practice and apply what they are learning in low-stakes ways. They feel comfortable sharing and showing what they know, even before mastery. Along the way, they might make fail.

What does this look like in a school setting?

• Frequent formative assessments
• Game-based learning
• Small and large group discussions
• Group challenges and low-stakes presentations
• Active learning experiences, scenarios, and project-based learning
• Peer feedback
• Personalized pathways with choices on how students demonstrate mastery

As a speech coach and teacher, I always encourage my students to “fail big.” Make visible choices and actions that we can all see. Some choices may not work or create the impact students had hoped for. Because their work and learning process is highly visible, we all know what needs improvement. As students perform, they also have an audience. They are not only making mistakes in front of an adult but also being vulnerable in front of their peers. The culture is celebratory and collaborative. Everyone learns from each other’s imperfections, ultimately fostering stronger relationships, greater learning experiences, and more confident performers.

In addition to embracing failure, we need to teach and embrace the development of soft skills.

This summer, one of my college students told me more about her high school experience in which she was never expected to speak in front of others because she was a language learner. As an ELL student, she was excused from practicing and experiencing a skill essential to her daily life academically and socially. She has beautiful writing and is very articulate, and she will definitely find that she is incredibly capable of speaking in a formal setting! I know she’s going to be successful in my class. Her statement was shocking and sad to hear. This Thursday’s speech will be the first time she’s standing in front of the class (aside from the few group challenges we have had already this semester).

Students typically despise public speaking. Let's be honest; most adults openly detest it as well. I teach public speaking at the high school and college level every semester. I even spent 15 years tricking high school kids into thinking that it was fun and cool to get on a bus at 6 AM and compete for 12 hours every Saturday in suit jackets. I have to convince them that this skill is essential and help them overcome their fears to unlock their potential. 

One of the first items on my agenda is to be open and vulnerable with my students. Most are only present because the class is a college requirement. They all simply want to cross the course off the to-do list and are secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) dreading my class. Using my persuasive appeals, I illustrate to them the power of public speaking and how communication is the foundation of EVERYTHING we do. Without the skills to share ideas, LISTEN, and collaborate with others, we cannot maintain quality relationships, are less likely to be hired, and might even just end up feeling lonely.

Communication, collaboration, empathy, and general executive functioning skills are essential to our daily interactions. These are the skills that become underdeveloped during COVID lockdowns and remote learning. During that time, not only did students not practice and develop these skills, but our society as a whole seemed to forget the importance of using these skills to relate to one another and work together to solve significant problems. We must explicitly teach these skills to our students. Society actually depends on it.

Growth takes time and is often a slower process than we would like. As we shift our definition of success and focus more on progress over data points on a page, we can help our students take more ownership of their own development, leading to lifelong changes and realized success. Part two of this blog post will address setting goals for personal growth and fostering a culture that maintains a positive mindset. We can help our students achieve their goals; we simply need to shift the narrative and invest in personalizing their progress. 

Bouncing Forward: Taking Inspiration from The Bounce Back Book

As educators, we have to roll our eyes at the perceived notion that some hold about our leisure summers off, which are often filled with professional development, meetings, working a second job (I adjunct at two local community colleges and do some side professional development work), prepping for next year, and squeezing in some time to recover from working overtime and attempting to balance family life.

I absolutely love my job. I find joy in walking into a school building, knowing that I will inevitably learn something new every day, make a great connection with another person, and have the opportunity to make an impact. Still, we need to recharge. Our summers are a time to recharge, rest, and prepare for another year of learning. We are bouncing back.

Every few months, the local library has a book sale, and my family excitedly scours the shelves to find new books. This past sale, a little read book entitled The Bounce Back Book by Karen Salmansohn. This book contains 75 tips for recovering from setbacks and adversity, and as I transition into a new role next school year, its premise resonated with me.

Challenges and obstacles are always in our paths and sometimes appear so quickly we become blindsided by their impact. COVID has shifted our perspectives, and the social effects of that period of our lives are still coming to us in waves. We can become debilitated by those waves, or we can bounce back. Whether we are educators in a classroom, administrators supporting teachers, or just people in the world, we can all learn to reframe the narrative and bounce back. So what does that bounce back look like? Here are the tips that resonated with me:

Tip #15: Find your bounceable people.

"Resilient people identify those who are available, trustworthy, and helpful. Then they go toward this light," is a quote cited in the book from Dr. Dina Carbonell of Simmons College. As teachers, we need to find people who will shine a light when we are struggling and seek out the light when they need it. We all need people willing to be present for us when our ball bounces out of bounds. We need people who will push back on the court and help us move forward in the right direction.

As teachers and as humans, we have tough days. Finding the people that will reflect the light back to us when we need it most and always sit in our cheering section regardless of the wins and losses helps us move forward and grow. Who we spend time with will shift our energy and perspective. Being aware of and seeking out the people that will help us become better versions of ourselves is a powerful strategy and makes life more joyful.

Tip #4: Feeling means you're dealing, means you're healing.

In my 20s and throughout my life, I have been told that my emotions are a weakness. I believed that they would hold me back and make me less of a leader. In the last few years, I have actively worked to unlearn that misconception. As an instructional coach, speech coach, and mom, I have used my vulnerability and empathy to lift others up. I now realize that my emotions are a strength that I leverage to help people see the best in themselves and to feel comfortable taking risks. My softness creates an environment that empowers others to grow. Feeling my feelings, especially since my children were born, has allowed me to evolve and find my footing in ways I never thought possible.

So as we all recover and move forward from the last few years, let's all find ways to be more authentic and share our emotions in productive ways to move forward. In the classroom, sharing our feelings with our students demonstrates that we can cope with struggles. We should not hide our imperfections because we would not grow without them.

Tip #19: Walk yourself out of that bad mood.

I struggle with stillness and am happiest on the move. The best part of summer is warm weather and more flexibility to get out for a long walk. My cousin and dear friend find ourselves sneaking in walks all summer. Being able to move, reflect, and be a sounding board for another person is a blessing and can create a space to shift one's mindset. Walking is good for the body but also so restorative for the soul. Even in winter, walking indoors solves most of my problems and allows me time and space to recover from hard times.

Tip #35: Don't just write a "To Do" list. Write a "To Be" list.

This tip struck me. I always carry a notebook in my hand. At school, I am notorious for leaving said notebook, which usually consists of a list of names of people, in random classrooms, the office, and the copy room. When people find it, they return it to me because it's my compass. It guides me to the people and projects that need me. Instead of simply considering it as my to-do list of items I must attend to, shifting the language and creating a to-be list feels more empowering. Life is not about getting through events and meetings but about being present in every moment. This shift in mindset and language gives purpose to a given day and sets an intentionality that fosters growth and relationships with others.

Tip #60: See awful as awe-ful.

Like the shift in language from a to-do list to a to-be list, seeing the best in even the worst situations can help us cope and redirect our trajectory. COVID was awful. During that time, I helped my district learn a new learning management system and was actively creating solutions for teaching and learning remotely. My son's health was a significant weight on my heart that prevented my family from moving past COVID restrictions long after most people returned to a more normal life. Those times were incredibly hard, but I shared incredible memories with my children. We learned to create fun in everyday tasks and find ways to serve others in our community, even from afar.

I am in awe of what we can do when we change the narrative. As educators, our impact is much more significant than we realize, but our actions don't have to be monumental. Sometimes, the smallest gesture or the simplest activity can be incredibly fun and life-giving. We merely have to choose our words wisely and shift our perspectives.

Tip #67: Perform your own research studies on happiness.

Finally, we have to keep learning. What happiness looks like to me is different from others. We need to learn to define happiness in the context of our lives. Happiness can be found in the smallest gesture or simply by expressing gratitude. It's also about letting go and learning to heal from the past. I find happiness is about learning and growing, which I strive to instill in my children and students.

Gretchen Rubin states in The Happiness Project, "It's about living in the moment and appreciating the smallest things. Surrounding yourself with the things that inspire you and letting go of the obsessions that want to take over your mind. It is a daily struggle sometimes and hard work, but happiness begins with your own attitude and how you look at the world." The slightest shifts can help us all bounce back from setbacks, but they can also help us bounce forward with great energy, momentum, and joy.

I highly recommend this quick read. I loved the ideas it sparked and the layout of the text. It's definitely full of ideas that can spark reflection in any person. Let me know if any of my local friends want to borrow it! Sometimes we simply need a little spark to get the flames roaring again.


References:

Rubin, Gretchen. The Happiness Project. New York City, HarperCollins, 2009.

Salmansohn, Karen. The Bounce Back Book. New York City, Workman, 2008.

Rediscovering What You Need (And Stealing from the PIRATE)

What do you need? 

This year was surprisingly challenging. Many educators are struggling with behavioral issues that they haven't experienced since their first few years of teaching, if ever at all. We are all still in the recovery phase of the pandemic despite the feeling that we have closed that chapter. 

After spring break, I like to reflect on what I have learned from the current school year. I also plan my summer personal and professional improvement goals. During early April, I typically explore books I want to read, conferences to present at and/or attend, and what I want to do to recharge. This summer, my focus is both student and teacher engagement. 

My colleagues and I limped to the end of this year, and my students still needed support with their executive functioning and soft skills that were negatively impacted during the pandemic. Many of us have been stuck in a rut where we needed help identifying solutions or a way to restart the creative engines. Instead of looking to recreate the wheel, I realized in this reflection that we just needed to reenergize the great work we are already doing. The pandemic challenged us to shift our teaching strategies, create online resources that can be used to personalize the learning experience in ways we had not prior and explore many different technology tools that have enhanced the student experience. We don't need to innovate because we have spent the last few years pushing the envelope forward at incredible speeds. Now, we need time to reflect, rest, and reignite our passion for teaching. Which led me to the seemingly simple question - What do you need? 

I went to my bookshelf with my professional development books, and a familiar book caught my eye. I was surprised I actually had it on my shelf since I bought this book at least four times. People tend to borrow and not return it, which always makes me smile because I know this book has an impact. Teach Like a Pirate by Dave Burgess caught my eye. This book, full of inspiring reminders about finding our passion as educators and bringing our best selves to our students, is always a hit with teachers. My district hosts a teacher summer camp where teachers and administrators host three-hour workshops on various topics. The summer camp I proposed and presented centered around Teach Like a Pirate and sparking the joy in teaching. When I consider my answer to the what do you need question, I know I need to be in a community with others, embrace my enthusiasm, and feel valued.

 

So what is the PIRATE method, and why does it resonate with teachers? 

PIRATE stands for - Passion, Immersion, Rapport, Ask and Analyze, Transform, and Enthusiasm. These ideas are familiar, but we often need to pay more attention to them or remember to incorporate them into our daily planning and practices. In the last few years, we have been so overwhelmed with teaching and regrouping post-pandemic that, as teachers, we don't give ourselves time to slow down and enjoy time with our students. Relationship building and rapport are what lead to classroom transformation. Being all in on a topic, lesson, or idea begets buy-in and success from our students. That "all in" practice looks different for every teacher and can be achieved by everyone if and when we give ourselves permission to jump into the deep end of joyful learning and flounder around for a moment.

What do we need? We need to give ourselves permission to fail, experiment, and play. Those practices lead to significant learning outcomes and more memorable experiences for our students.  

How can we "unstuck" ourselves? 

Simon Sinek has a fantastic TED talk on discovering our why. Why do we teach? Why do we love working with kids? Why are we passionate about the topics, ideas, and relationships we hold dear? As I was reading tweets and articles he's written, I discovered this video: A QUICK Way to Find Your Why

Instead of always trying to work alone and create meaning independently, it is so powerful to remember that we have a whole team of teachers and friends behind us. As Joyce Landorf Heatherley expresses in her work, we have a balcony full of people cheering us on and wishing for us to succeed. In my workshop, I leaned into the idea that we don't have to define our why. Instead, if we ask our balcony people to state our why for us, we can step outside of ourselves and discover something about our skills and gifts that we cannot see while feeling stuck. Asking our teacher friends to answer our why also sparks a conversation encouraging us to reciprocate and help them see their whys. This intentional conversation revitalizes our energy to rediscover our passions and strengths and encourages collaboration, support, and uplifts others. Fueling those collaborative relationships and conversations improves the culture and climate at school and can fuel a spark into a strong flame of un-stuck teachers. 

Where do we begin? 

Another question that Burgess uses in his book that I love is: "Would you want to be a student in your classroom?" This question makes me pause, and I try to ask myself every week. No, not every day is the most memorable and exciting lesson ever. Sometimes we have to provide direct instruction, and those days can admittedly be a little boring. Instead of muddling through it, we can ask ourselves how we might slightly shift the lesson or learning environment to improve the quality of our students’ experiences. 

We can find ways to engage and connect with them - even if it has nothing to do with the lesson. Those small moments and connections lead to incredible buy-in and foster a strong learning community. Burgess uses what he refers to as hooks as questions to guide teachers into considering what this process might look like in the classroom. I made a form to help teachers with the planning process and lead them to hooks that might work for their individual goals. As we recharge and refocus our compasses this summer, may we start by asking ourselves, “What do I need?” We don't need to redraw the map to great teaching completely. We simply have to adjust the sails and rediscover our wind. Passion and enthusiasm will follow.