The book begins by recounting the story of an accomplished runner, Heather Kampf, who made what seemed like the impossible possible. After falling flat on her face during a 600-meter dash, advancing from neck-in-neck with the first place runner, Kampf picked herself up and sprinted from the last place to first - crushing her competition in spite of a devastating setback. The message in this anecdote seems so clear - no matter how fast we are running or how close the finish line is, we can always pick ourselves up to find success. How impressive that this runner was able to mentally and physically recover so quickly to come back from such a drastic fall and what would seem like an inevitable failure. What a beautiful and tangible reminder that when all seems lost or hopeless, we can pick ourselves up and finish what we have set out to do.
This year I have been challenged to pick myself up a few times over and learned how interrelated my personal and professional lives are. My focus at the beginning of the year was to find work-life balance, but the more that I seek an answer to this equation, the more I realize that the answer is in embracing happiness in each moment and less about finding the perfect amount of minutes to dedicate to each part of my life. Often, my life cannot be divided into home-life and school-life; the people I love and the family I have created have entered into both aspects of my life and cannot be ascribed to just one part of my life.
Early in my career, I was given a great deal of well-intentioned advice. I was warned about burnout and told that I need to draw clear boundaries in between my home life and my career. I was told that I was taking on too much too quickly with graduate degrees and extracurricular duties, and I was often told that these commitments could lead to adverse effects on my personal life. While I do run into the occasional bout of stomach flu as the result of lack of sleep or rest (At least once a year. It's awful), my tiredness is well-worth the messy and blurry lines between my school and personal homes. Meaning no disrespect, I have not listened to that piece of advice; it never made sense to me because working with young people is not a job. Teaching is a matter of the heart. I cannot leave my students and their stories at school.
Perhaps a better way of applying that advice is to protect who you are and do not allow one aspect of life take away from the joy of another aspect, especially family. This advice is applicable and essential for any career - know who you are, embrace it, and protect it. Now in my early 30s, I have a much better sense of my identity. I embrace my frenetic energy and see it as my greatest strength - and my weakness. While I can be guilty of moving too quickly, I am always moving forward. I attempt to wear my heart on my sleeve at all times, which makes me vulnerable but also allows me to empathize with others. I struggle, as we all do, to find balance in life, but I love the messiness of it all. Rarely do I have my computer open when my kids are awake. Once a month, during my Twitter chat, my kids know that Mama is working on the computer, and every once in a while, Mama has to grade papers. I still strongly believe in keeping the computer shut, except during the busiest of grading seasons (especially during the Junior I-Search). Then, I take out the Bluetooth keyboard that no longer works and allow Willa to cuddle up to me while we "work together." Sometimes I find her playing with it on her own, and when asked what she's doing, she giggles and shouts so proudly, "I working!" She's going to take over the world one day. 😊
While I naturally feel the need to be working on something academic or cleaning, my husband and my children force me to take time to play. The joy that I have gained from opening myself up to the creativity and lightness that comes from play, which is so beautifully described by Shonda Rhimes TED Talk, "My Year To Saying Yes To Everything." When our self-worth and happiness is related to embracing our faults as well as our strengths, our minds remain grateful for every opportunity (even our setbacks), and we allow ourselves to recognize the inspiration in each moment.We are told that we can't have it all - especially as women. I disagree with that. What "it all" means is defined by the individual. For me, I want to embrace the idea that tomorrow or next year will be the best day or year ever. The best is always yet to come. Believing this mantra, striving to move forward and make every moment count will allow me to provide for my biological children, stretch and challenge my students and laugh at the chaos that ensues during busy grading periods, end of semester final summative assessments, future dance recitals, piano lessons, and maybe even soccer games (whatever my children hope to pursue). As one of my dear friends, Paige, who started out just as a school colleague and now is considered a bonus aunt to my children, our attitude determines everything. If we embrace happiness in each moment and recognize the blessings of each opportunity, we can experience contentment and joy, which to me, is all that matters.
Here's to a memorable and awesome summer full of carting the kids around in the van (which I'm still too scared to drive), teaching a few summer courses, reading as many books as I can obtain, and living in the moment.
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